It has faded now, but as I began writing this morning - I had an amazing view of a rainbow. This reminded me of the famous Rocky quote "The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows". The truth is life can be messy and challenging at times. We often have obstacles to face and difficult people to deal with.

A short post sharing my thoughts this morning. We all have desires. How we respond is what matters.

Yesterday, I finished reading The Easypeasy method for the third time. I had read it once years ago, but then relapsed after a brief encounter with "success". And then over the last few weeks, I've read it two more times to analyse it in-depth for the Help is Here podcast that I run alongside Mari Paulus.

I once bet a mate £20 that I would go 90 days without any porn or masturbation. It is safe to say I lost the bet. That was years ago. ...

Recently, the UK brought in new legislation so that ID is required to ensure people are over 18 if they wish to view content on porn sites.

The addicted part of the mind hates the truth. But it is only through facing the truth that we get to take back control.

The easy route is trying to find a quick, flashy hack. The easy route is running away from urges. The easy route is telling yourself that "relapse is part of recovery".

I was stuck in a porn addiction for 9 years. The only way I got out was by learning how to deal with compulsive desires directly. Don't be a circle person.

This led to me looking at porn which made me feel more shame and more degraded. My self-esteem was left in pieces and I was repulsed by the man I saw in the mirror. Porn addiction is hard because barely anyone talks about any of this.

The thought of staying addicted for life terrifies me. F*ck that. Permanent mental freedom is possible!

When we understand that our thoughts can be completely irrational and we have the ability to observe them as so, it becomes much less scary to talk about what is going on for us.

Imagine if you wanted to develop a skill like boxing. Would you go to a therapist or support group to figure out why you keep getting hit in the face or would you learn how to throw a punch?

For years I was convinced by NoFap experts and Porn Addiction Recovery coaches that "relapse is part of recovery". The addicted part of my mind (APOTM) gobbled up this lie and I was stuck in a cycle of relapse after relapse.

As much as the therapists delved into this young innocent kid's past in an attempt to unravel some trauma, nothing really changed for him. He was still left without a way of dealing with the inevitable moment of compulsive desire...

Before running the Beyond Compulsion Academy, I had spent a lot of time reading a range of books on psychology. Human biases fascinate me. I came to the understanding that the popular perspective, in any given society, is not always the best. And sometimes the consequences can be disastrous.

Last week, one of our clients said he was rewiring his brain and "becoming a different person". Yes, I can relate. It is like giving the addicted part of the mind (APOTM) an unlimited amount of ammunition to use against us...

Trying to stick a label on ourselves can be very harmful. It is like giving the addicted part of the mind (APOTM) an unlimited amount of ammunition to use against us...

Sure, some people have a number of problems in their life when struggling with addiction. Of course they do, living with addicted neural pathways is challenging. But it is not a "void" that causes people to stay stuck.

The APOTM bombards you with thoughts like "once won't hurt", "everyone does it", and "this will be the last time". The APOTM desperately wants you to engage in your compulsive behaviour and will try anything it can. It wants temporary relief from the discomfort of withdrawal.

Joe's story of overcoming 17 years of addiction is going to inspire a lot of people. I look forward to sharing it on the podcast soon...