You have been lied to
- Tom Molyneux
- Jun 19
- 2 min read
For years I was convinced by NoFap experts and Porn Addiction Recovery coaches that "relapse is part of recovery". The addicted part of my mind (APOTM) gobbled up this lie and I was stuck in a cycle of relapse after relapse. My mental health deteriorated and I started to question myself. I began binging and edging and would look at stuff which no longer aligned with my sexual values. I was deep in a porn addiction. I continued to listen to those who said "if you slip-up, you have to just get back up and carry on" and that your "progress isn't lost". And it f*cked my brain up real good.
Yesterday I spoke to a client who has stopped watching porn for many months now.
He's started to have less desires over time because he has actively used his 5-Fact script to change his neural pathways.
And yesterday when he was sharing with me how much more confident he is now, he sent a message about how much harder it is being in the addiction.

It is relapsing, just one time, which keeps the addicted neural pathways alive. This is why people struggle for days, and then weeks, and then months, and then years, and then decades and wonder how they ended up addicted for so long. Relapse is part of relapse. Relapse is NOT part of recovery. The APOTM hates to hear this. If you have addicted neural pathways right now, the APOTM will probably be resisting these very words.
When I first learned all of this, a part of my brain (the APOTM) hated it. Of course it did. But, ultimately, I care enough about people to share the truth... even if it is uncomfortable to read at first.
If you have struggled up until now, it is not your fault. You have likely consumed the same lies that I did for years. Fortunately, there is an alternative route. With the right training, anyone can stop watching porn for good, and feel good about doing so. "The work is easy, being stuck in addiction is hard."