Most people think they have a "porn problem". And they think this is their main issue... porn. I get that. I thought the same for years, especially because I felt so much shame around the sexual content I was looking at.

A lot of men think that if they choose to join the Beyond Compulsion Academy, they are going to have to give something up. They feel like they are going to have to spend hours and hours watching video content and staying accountable all the time. They think that it is going to be tortuously difficult and they are going to have to go all in on committing to the program.

If a friend asked you to go out for a walk in a few hours from now, would you say yes? Some would say yes and some would say no. If a friend asked you to go and watch porn, on your own, in a few hours from now, would say yes?

For years I read into the neuroscience of porn addiction and overtime I bought into this idea that porn hijacks the brain. I thought my brain had changed so much that now porn had power over me. But, does porn actually hijack the brain?

For around 2 or 3 years, I let the addicted part of the mind (APOTM) bullshit me into believing that "I wasn't watching porn". As long as it wasn't on an actual porn site, it was okay, right?

It has faded now, but as I began writing this morning - I had an amazing view of a rainbow. This reminded me of the famous Rocky quote "The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows". The truth is life can be messy and challenging at times. We often have obstacles to face and difficult people to deal with.

A short post sharing my thoughts this morning. We all have desires. How we respond is what matters.

Yesterday, I finished reading The Easypeasy method for the third time. I had read it once years ago, but then relapsed after a brief encounter with "success". And then over the last few weeks, I've read it two more times to analyse it in-depth for the Help is Here podcast that I run alongside Mari Paulus.

I once bet a mate £20 that I would go 90 days without any porn or masturbation. It is safe to say I lost the bet. That was years ago. ...

Recently, the UK brought in new legislation so that ID is required to ensure people are over 18 if they wish to view content on porn sites.

The addicted part of the mind hates the truth. But it is only through facing the truth that we get to take back control.

The easy route is trying to find a quick, flashy hack. The easy route is running away from urges. The easy route is telling yourself that "relapse is part of recovery".

I was stuck in a porn addiction for 9 years. The only way I got out was by learning how to deal with compulsive desires directly. Don't be a circle person.

This led to me looking at porn which made me feel more shame and more degraded. My self-esteem was left in pieces and I was repulsed by the man I saw in the mirror. Porn addiction is hard because barely anyone talks about any of this.

The thought of staying addicted for life terrifies me. F*ck that. Permanent mental freedom is possible!

When we understand that our thoughts can be completely irrational and we have the ability to observe them as so, it becomes much less scary to talk about what is going on for us.

Imagine if you wanted to develop a skill like boxing. Would you go to a therapist or support group to figure out why you keep getting hit in the face or would you learn how to throw a punch?

For years I was convinced by NoFap experts and Porn Addiction Recovery coaches that "relapse is part of recovery". The addicted part of my mind (APOTM) gobbled up this lie and I was stuck in a cycle of relapse after relapse.

As much as the therapists delved into this young innocent kid's past in an attempt to unravel some trauma, nothing really changed for him. He was still left without a way of dealing with the inevitable moment of compulsive desire...

Before running the Beyond Compulsion Academy, I had spent a lot of time reading a range of books on psychology. Human biases fascinate me. I came to the understanding that the popular perspective, in any given society, is not always the best. And sometimes the consequences can be disastrous.