Most people feel terrible about stopping their compulsive behaviours. They feel like it is something they have to do and like they are giving something up. They try for a little while and then feel so bad about it that they eventually relapse...

Streak after streak, I'd always relapse. I was stuck in a cycle of failing to stop watching porn for 10 years. And during that time, I felt like I had tried everything to stop.

When you are experiencing strong desires it can feel like it will last forever. You feel like it is going to get stronger and stronger until you give in to it. But, this is just the addicted part of the mind (APOTM) doing it's job.

I used to tell myself that my relapses were caused by a trigger. But nowadays I can see clearly how based in helplessness this idea is...

For years I was stuck in a constant conflict without understanding what was going on. I felt like there were these different sides to me and it was very frustrating. I felt a lot of shame. I hid a side of myself which I feared people would judge.

When I was in a porn addiction, I often felt like porn was this amazing thing. I put it on a pedestal. But, nowadays I can see things more clearly and understand that the glamourising came from the addicted part of the mind (APOTM).

Have you ever had a dream that you relapsed? You are asleep but dreaming of the stuff you used to look at. This is common amongst Beyond Compulsion Academy members...

Back in my porn addiction days, I'd go on streak after streak. At times, I even felt like I was making progress as I occasionally went on a longer streak. But, without me realising it, my life was getting worse.

Having stopped volunteering at the Samaritans to prioritise the Beyond Compulsion Academy, I've definitely changed my perspective on a lot of mental health "support".

Yesterday, a client inside of the Beyond Compulsion Academy shared how his mindset towards dealing with urges has changed...

Most people focus on "giving up" their compulsive behaviours. They feel like they are doing something which is going to be really tough and uncomfortable. And yes, overcoming a compulsive behaviour is hard. There is no doubt about it. However, we can frame things in a way which makes it feel better.

To really change your neural pathways, you need to get connected to the desire and think through the choice rationally, without acting on it.

There are times where you think rationally and there are times where the addicted part of the mind (APOTM) tries to take over with irrational thinking.

When you learn the Beyond Compulsion method in-depth, you begin to see the world differently and start to speak a different language to most people.

In my porn addiction days I was always looking for an immediate cure. Just one piece of information to take all the pain away. I searched and searched.

When you use the Beyond Compulsion method to live your life free of engaging in compulsivity, you start to think about things very differently.

For years, I trained my brain to get used to being constantly busy. I was doing my best to stop watching porn. I didn't know what else to do so I'd keep running and running from my own mind.

This year, my New Year's resolution is paradoxically about being more present. I want to be focused on the right now, at this moment, more.

You would not put your hands in fire, but if you are still addicted to porn - you are choosing to burn your brain with a screen. Not literally, but that is how it feels.

In just a few days time, a new year will be upon us, and so one kind of junkie thought you can expect to hear over the upcoming days is along the lines of "I will start again in the new year".