Wasting Time Watching Porn?

Pornhub track how long visitors use their site for.

The average time in 2024 was 9 minutes and 40 seconds. Less than 10 minutes of porn watching. This isn't a very long time. Of course there are other variables to consider. For example, people may consume content elsewhere during their time engaging with porn and people may use Pornhub multiple times a day. However, the main point to get across here is that the amount of time you spend watching porn is probably less relevant than you think.

Last year, we worked with around 40 guys who wanted to overcome porn addiction for good. In addition to the offering of coaching calls, we have a private WhatsApp group (Me, Mari and the client) set up for each individual. Therefore, we're talking with our clients very frequently.

And throughout thousands of hours of conversation, very rarely was the amount of time "wasted" watching porn talked about.

Instead, the main problems people experience when overcoming porn addiction include:

• Feeling shame

• Bad sex life

• Lack of intimacy

• Feeling numb

• Poor focus

• Feeling lonely

• Sadness

• Lack of trust in self

• Low self-esteem

• Feeling frustrated

  
  

Furthermore, with a very high average score of 8.9/10, people reported enjoying life less after watching porn on our Porn Addiction Scorecard.

This makes sense when we consider how much dopamine is released upon watching porn. Afterwards, everything else is going to feel mild, grey, and dull. Having now successfully changed my brain, through applying the Beyond Compulsion™ method, I genuinely don't want to watch porn anymore. I just don't have the desire for it and haven't for a while now.

However, the illusion of "just wasting time" kept coming up in other areas of my life. For example, sometimes in a busy queue or waiting for somebody or something, I would choose to engage in behaviours like checking the football scores, checking my messages, clicking into my emails etc. This would have been fine if I didn't then think about it later on. Reasonable engagement with behaviours do not come with rationalisations and extra-curricular thoughts attached. You know what is reasonable and you know what is not reasonable. Therefore, I knew I needed to make a change.

My thought process for "just checking things" was usually along the lines of "I have nothing else to do, so it's okay for me to check". But, then the checking led to me wanting to check my phone again, and again. The word "check" minimises the engaging entirely. It is not just "checking" something. It is choosing to engage in a destructive behaviour. I had to accept this as a greater problem than part of my mind wanted to convince me that it was. Spending time doing something that you feel bad about doing impacts you dramatically. Whether it is porn or something as simple as checking football scores, it's more than just your time that it impacts. It will impact your self-esteem, how much you trust yourself, and focus among many other areas of your life. The next time you think about how quickly you are able to consume porn or how you feel you have nothing else to do with your time, consider all of the other ways choosing to watch porn will impact your life.