7 NoFap Habits That Keep You Stuck in a Porn Addiction

What I love about the Beyond Compulsion method is that there is a clear framework to it. It makes logical sense and anyone can follow the clear steps provided and use it to free themselves of their porn addiction. One of our clients joined the Beyond Compulsion Academy and learned this method at the age of 18. Having found huge success in using our method, he decided to create a document titled: 7 NoFap habits that keep you stuck in a porn addiction He sent this my way and with his permission, I'm able to share this with you here. I love that I haven't even come up with this myself. It was from one of our clients! The rest of this blog is 100% from him: 15% of men are addicted to pornography and the other 85% are

not being honest. If you are anything like I used to be, you are

struggling to quit porn, going around in circles. If you don’t want to

be a circle person, avoid these: 7 No-Fap Habits that keep you stuck in a porn addiction:

1. Trying to find the reason why you are addicted: There seems to be an

obsession with finding out why you are addicted to porn. It is as if, in some

way, your porn addiction will magically fade away when you finally find the

cause.

The reality is that your addicted neural pathways are already in

place; figuring out your traumas is useful, but it’s not going to change the

addicted neural pathways that are already in place.

To become free from porn, you need to rewire your addicted neural

pathways.

2. Removing triggers: This is by far the most common advice on the

internet. It sounds good in theory, but the idea of taking away all your

triggers, or else you’ll get triggered and engage, is rooted in helplessness.

The truth is that you get triggered, because your brain has been

conditioned to react that way. It’s not the Instagram model that causes you

to relapse; it’s your inability to deal with that compulsive desire.

When using avoidance, you may be able to maintain a long streak, but because

the compulsive desire is never actually dealt with during this time, your

addicted neural pathways remain unchanged.

3. Streaks: Let’s be real: a no-fap streak to quit porn is like going on a diet to

lose weight.

How often have you had a long streak, only to “give in” and

decide to binge porn all night? I sure know I have.

Streaks are problematic in two ways. First, keeping track of how many

days you are on is only something an addict would do. No sane person

would, for example, track the number of days they could go on without

washing their car.

Secondly, every time you abstain for a long period of

time and then choose to watch porn, you intermittently reinforce your

addicted neural pathways. To explain this simply: if you have a dog that

starts whining for food, and you don’t give him any, but he continues

whining for 30 minutes, and then you decide to give him the food, you just

taught him to whine for 30 minutes to get what he wants.

Each streak you go on strengthens your addicted neural pathways, making

it harder to stop in the future.

4. Blockers: The rationale is simple: “If I use a blocker, it’ll be harder to

watch porn, therefore blocker good.”

As good as it sounds, the reality doesn’t hold true. Blocking porn will for

sure make it harder, but you do so while also telling yourself you can’t have

it.

And—just like telling someone they can’t have the cookie they

want—this will only make you crave it more. Blocking porn increases

feelings of deprivation and will eventually lead to a relapse.

5. Being productive instead: “When you get an urge, do 20 pushups.” This

is very common advice, but at its core it’s both a distraction tactic and

substitution. Exercising, meditating, and taking cold showers are all good

things to do, but they have nothing to do with your actual porn addiction.

Substitution is used to not feel the temporary discomfort of withdrawal. This

sounds good, but for the brain to change, you have to actively sit with and

experience the compulsive desire and think your choice through rationally.

6. Thinking you can slip up: “I slipped up.” No, you didn’t. Thinking you can

“slip” into watching porn, unzipping your pants, and choosing to engage, is

not true and is based on helplessness thinking. You choose whether you

decide to engage or not. Now, you may not yet be properly equipped to

deal with the compulsive desires, but it’s you choosing to engage.

You don’t get hijacked the moment you get triggered; you don’t automatically

engage. Understanding this is important, as it means you are the one in

control and can take action to change.

7. Convincing yourself you don’t want to watch porn: You know you want

to watch porn—that’s why you’re addicted—you just don’t want the

consequences. Acknowledge that both statements are true and move on.

8. BONUS: “I need to be ready to stop”: No. You don’t need to be ready to

stop your porn addiction—because you’ll never be—you just need to be

willing. I’ll leave it at that.