Why you want to watch porn

Imagine you went to a therapist because you were getting bullied and were asked how you felt about it. Imagine if the therapist enquired into how you felt in the moments leading up to getting bullied. Were you depressed? Anxious? Tired? Stressed? Lonely? Bored? What can you do next time to avoid the bully? This is bit like many people's experience with addiction recovery . Instead of focusing on learning how to deal with the problem directly, standing up to it and changing your thinking, many people are conditioned to believe there is value in constantly asking why? "Why do you watch porn?"

At Beyond Compulsion Academy, we know we don't need a reason to engage in any compulsive behaviour. We know we have a choice. We know that we can always watch porn. That is always an option. And we know that asking "why?" isn't going to change the neural pathways that actually lead to the desire to watch porn. The desire is caused by repeated past use. It is pretty simple. So, instead we work with clients on helping them learn a new way of thinking and responding to the moments when they want to watch porn.

We don't ask them why they want to watch porn, we train them to deal with the desire directly so they can change their neural pathways effectively. Freedom is not found through more analysis, it is found through knowing you have a choice and being free to make rational choices in any moment. The desire doesn't magically disappear once you know "why" you watch porn. Trying to figure out why I had the desires kept my focus on trying to avoid the desire.

This prevented me from facing the desires directly and therefore prevented me from acknowledging the desires so I could connect to it, and successfully change the neural pathway of compulsive desire.

Changing my thinking around this has been one of the many crucial mindset shifts I've needed to overcome this problem.