Own it all. You are responsible.
- Tom Molyneux
- 1 day ago
- 2 min read
Most people who talk about their struggle with porn addiction still feel unsure of themselves. They fear relapsing. They lack confidence. They lack self-trust. I see people stuck with helpless thought patterns and sometimes I just want to install what is in my mind into theirs.
I feel like shaking them and waking them up from the duvet of disempowerment they've been told to stay coddled in by everyone else in the world. I know the feelings of doubt. The uncertainty. The anxiety. The fear of relapsing, again. I know it all. I have lived it. And now I am on the other side and can see what is going on in society, very clearly. Addiction recovery advice is unintentionally reinforcing the thought patterns of helplessness further. Accountability buddies. Diving into the rationalisations with therapists. Group meetings going on all over the world so people can share their junkie thoughts with each other... without any awareness they are even spouting junkie thoughts. I am all for vulnerability and being open about things.
Shame is a good friend of the addicted part of the mind (APOTM) and so external support is very important to make change. However, the crucial thing is that the external support enables people to make rational choices for themselves, and for no one else.
You and only you can get yourself out of a porn addiction.
Get the strategy you need and use it. Don't wallow in helplessness. This is exactly what the APOTM wants you to do. Take full responsibility, and start to enjoy the process of making good choices for yourself, moment by moment. Or don't.
It is a choice after all...